2013년 10월 25일 금요일

Ian Eckhardt's blog ::WWE 12 review






Ian Eckhardt's blog ::WWE 12 review










If               you're               a               professional               wrestler,               your               theme               songs               is               one               of               the               most               important               parts               of               your               gimmick,               right               up               there               with               tight               color               and               your               fake               ability               to               feel               fake               pain.

Hell,               WWE               puts               out               dozens               of               CDs               of               wrestler               entrance               themes,               and               fans               buy               them               up--hearing               the               first               chords               announcing               a               wrestler's               entrance               is               one               of               the               coolest               parts               of               the               sport               (or               theater,               depending               on               your               level               of               suspension               of               disbelief).

Not               all               wrestling               theme               songs               are               cut               from               the               same               cloth,               however.

Here's               five               of               the               worst               entrance               themes               in               the               WWE               professional               wrestling               franchise,               past               and               present.

1.

Big               Show               -               It's               The               Big               Show               -               If               there               was               ever               a               theme               song               that               screamed,               "a               cover               band               at               a               Memphis               dive               bar               was               paid               an               entire               twelve               dollars               to               write               and               record               this,"               the               Big               Show's               theme               is               it.

With               such               rousing               lyrics               as               "yeah,               it's               the               Big               Show               /               It's               the               big,               bad               show,               now"               and               a               drooping               blues               riff               as               tired               as               the               seven               foot               tall               wrestler               himself,               the               Big               Show's               theme               is               the               perfect               way               to               announce               that               it's               time               for               everyone               in               the               wrestling               arena               to               go               grab               another               beer.
               2.

Undertaker               -               Bad               Ass               Theme               -               At               one               point,               the               Undertaker               decided               to               adopt               a               "bad-ass"               gimmick,               one               of               the               worst               decisions               in               the               history               of               pro               wrestling,               and               to               match               his               horrendous               new               persona               he               got               a               horrendous               new               theme               song.

"You've               done               it               now               /               You've               gone               and               made               a               big               mistake,"               the               singer               sings.

When               even               the               singer               of               your               theme               song               realizes               that               your               new               gimmick               sucks,               it's               time               to               put               your               old               costume               back               on               and               start               throwing               people               into               caskets               again.
               3.

Eddie               Guerrero               -               Gangsta               Lean               -               I               love               Eddie               Guerrero               as               much               as               the               next               wrestling               fan,               but               his               "Gangsta               Lean"               theme               song               managed               to               make               me               feel               insulted,               and               I'm               not               even               a               latino.

He'd               come               to               the               ring               in               a               low               rider               while               a               rapper               kept               stressing               words               ending               with               "eeeeeeeeen"               and               oh               my               god               Jesus               I'm               listening               to               the               song               while               I'm               writing               this               and               it's               time               to               stop.
               4.

Randy               Orton               -               Voices               -               Besides               the               bad               poetry               ("I               hear               voices               in               my               head,               the               talk               to               me,               they               understand,               they               talk               to               me"),               every               time               Randy               Orton               walks               to               the               ring               I               feel               like               someone               in               my               house               needs               to               have               their               ass               kicked.

Which               may               be               the               point,               but               if               you're               going               to               have               a               crappy               alternative               rock               song               as               your               entrance               theme,               at               least               let               me               kill               you               first.
               5.

Hulk               Hogan               -               Real               American               -               Hulk               Hogan's               theme               song               is               a               sentimental               favorite               for               many               old-time               (read:               too               old)               fans               of               professional               wrestling,               but               that               doesn't               mean               that               the               Rick               Derringer               tune               doesn't               suck               hind               tit.

"If               you               hurt               my               friends,               you               hurt               my               pride               /               I've               got               to               be               a               man,               I               can't               let               it               slide,"               sings               Rick,               and               in               the               music               video               he               even               got               the               Hulkster               himself               to               mock-play               an               American               flag               guitar               way               too               small               for               his               body               while               pictures               of               the               Vietnam               memorial               and,               for               some               reason,               a               video               of               a               dude               riding               a               bike               into               a               brick               wall,               scrolled               by               like               one               of               those               videos               you               can               make               yourself               at               Six               Flags.

At               what               level               does               a               patriotic               song               inspire               terrorism?

You've               been               warned.
               What               are               your               least               favorite               WWE               entrance               theme               songs?

Post               in               the               comments               section               below.




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